Dear Body- I'm pretty sure you are starting to waddle...yep waddle. I know this last part of pregnancy is the craps, but you still have 4 weeks to go. So get a hold of yourself and try to walk normal..people are gonna start to stare if it gets any worse.
Dear Wardrobe- I know you probably hate me as much as I hate you right now but let's face it..you are not going to be getting any new additions to spruce yourself up anytime soon. It's just not worth it. 4 more weeks of the fat, ugly, paneled, stretchy clothes and then we will kiss them good-bye (oh who are we kidding..I will still be wearing you post baby..which is even a more depressing thought). Let's shoot for new Christmas clothes.
Dear tiled floor- Thanks for doing such a good job at hiding dirt...I hate mopping so it makes my life much easier.
Dear Bladder- You are worthless. I mean I know you've been through 5 pregnancies and all but really this every 2 (or less) hours of potty breaks and sneezing/coughing leakage has got to stop. You have until this baby is born and things better get immensely better or you are in serious trouble.
Dear house- please sell quickly..knowing how life goes, I'm sure I'll be trying to pack and clean my house, trying to buy another one and having a baby all at the same time...this stresses me out so if you could look your best and get sold, that would be super. Thanks!
Dear Raisin Nut Bran- I might have already sent you a letter but I can't remember..just to let you know I think you are the best cereal but you are seriously overpriced. You obviously think too highly of yourself..at least send out some coupons or something..geez!
Dear Maggie- You are so cute, I could listen to you all day with your "ah heck" (my heck) and "a sowwy" (I sorry) sayings in your cutest little voice. You are at a favorite age of mine.
Dear Fridge- tThanks for having a "lock" button on the water dispenser, seeing as how Maggie can reach you and has caused a few mini floods.
Dear Baby- Please let me know what your name is..that would be much easier than having to decide and agree with Nate. This is a toughie.
Dear Shirt- I am sorry that your shoulder is covered with tears and chewed up, slobbered gold fish crumbs. I am just too lazy to change you and Maggie will probably have another meltdown..so one shirt a day is all I am willing to go.