Dear Vacuum Cord- Why is it that when I wind you up, the plug part ends up right at the wind up holder things..creating a problem of not being able to hook the plug to the other wound up cord part..you get what I'm sayin'? Obviously none of the vacuum maker people own a vacuum or they would have solved this problem years ago..maybe they can't think of a solution, but since I'm a smartypants, I can..All you gotta do is shorten the cord by like 5 inches..I know.. genius right?
Dear January- You are pretty much a blah month..but after the crazy 8 weeks I've had, I am ready for blah and more blah...except my sisters wedding is next week..which is totally not blah and way exciting.
Dear Regan's Blob - You are way too fun to read..I am a total stranger and blog stalker. I love how you write..good job on that!
Dear Face Wash commercials- Nobody washes their face and then splashes water all over..like "oooh what a refreshing water splash..that's all over me and the floor" ..oh sure it makes the product look great and amazing..but really not real.
Dear Pain Pills- You are naughty..really naughty...you ruin way too many peoples lives. I am way afraid of you and wouldn't touch you with a 50 foot pole. So there!
Dear Saddlebags- I am really tired of you. I mean I have never liked you..but you are just getting annoying..I mean what is that fatcrap (that's right..it's a new word I just made up) protruding from the sides of my thighs. It is unsightly and I think I am working hard enough for you to go away...so go..I'm serious..just go. Couldn't you just shimmy your way up to my boobies..way better place for fat.
Dear Heated Blanket that Nate got me for Christmas- Where have you been all my life? You are a little bit of dreamy heaven. I turn you on (ok..that just sounds wrong..get your heads out of the gutter..I meant the switch)...brush my teeth, wash my face and climb into a warm bit of magic. I always am freezing..like wear sweats with two extra blankets freezing..so this is fabulous. Loving it and never giving it up!
Dear Spellcheck- You should totally add "fatcrap" to your vocab!
4 comments:
Dear Ashley-
I love you and think you're hilarious. It's too bad we don't live closer. I think we could be real good friends. It's no wonder we're related :).
Love,
Meg-
you crack me up! thanks for the laugh. I bought a headed mattress pad a few years ago and I love to preheat the bed. ahhh makes me want to go to bed RIGHT. NOW.
you seriously make me laugh!! I LOVe reading your little letters! thanks for the laughs today! :) I know I am private, but if u want to check out my blog shoot me an email with ur email address and i would be more than happy to add u! :) wedautleys@msn.com
p.s. it was fun hanging out with you and getting to know you more on new years!
Ha Ha - Fatcrap - You should submit that to those folks at Webster's Dictionary - they should probably add it. And heated blanket? I have to tell you that COLD sheets are something that I look forward to so that my hubster will SNUGGLE. Ah well - let's agree to disagree!
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